LEADING IN UNCERTAINTY:

It was the day of our outreach event to celebrate the first-year anniversary of our church plant in Maui.   We had spent thousands on equipment and marketing, and we had rented thousands of chairs.      As we stood in the empty stadium we rented out and watching the clock ticking closer to the Easter bunny flying in on a helicopter, our leadership team felt a lump in our throats.   Did we make the right decision here?   Look at all these empty seats!   Is there something we missed?   We couldn’t shake the fear of working so hard and then nobody showing up.

In quantum mechanics, the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle states, "the only thing we can be certain of is uncertainty."   Even the best of leaders find this to be true on multiple occasions in our leadership journey.   Most of the leaders I know (myself included), like our following to take comfort in the fact that we know where we are going and what we are doing.   The reality is that we face moments where we feel stuck, directionless, not knowing which path to take.

The unknown is a hard place to be, because the general population is not comfortable with their visionaries or leaders, admitting that they are not sure what direction to take on a particular issue.   One example is when President Obama stated that he did not have a "complete strategy" for dealing with ISIS, leading many of his critics to use this example of his lack of leadership.   Leaders of organizations of any size can identify with external pressures to look like we know what we're doing whether we lead a church, non-profit, business, or political campaign.

Leading a church is particularly difficult because we have people questioning us at every turn and on every decision.   Rick Warren, one of the most notable leaders of the Church in the U.S. wrote in his book Purpose Driven Church, concerning some of his early ministry decisions:

"In the early years we had nothing to lose, so we tried out all kinds of ideas.   Some of our ideas were spectacular failures.   And I wish I could claim that all our successes happened just the way we planned them—but it would be untrue.   I'm not that smart.   Most of our successes have been the result of trial and error and some of our discoveries were purely accidental."

Warren's humble self-assessment and honest approach encourages me because I have had my fair share of failures.   We can take big risks when we have nothing to lose.   However, it makes sense to me that the more we have to lose, the more uncertainty weighs in on our leadership decisions.

One Biblical example of leading well through uncertainty is in the story of the fourth king of Judah, Jehoshaphat.   Modern literature refers to him as "Jumping Jehoshaphat."   He was considered, in general, to be a good leader because of his commitment to the law and worship of the one true God, Yahweh.   His leadership produced a great deal of prosperity and peace, but that was not always the case.  

In 2 Chronicles 20, Jehoshaphat faced great uncertainty as Judah faced a vast army, a Moabite alliance on the warpath with every intention to destroy his kingdom.   Jehoshaphat cried out to God, "we are powerless before this great multitude who are coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are on You" (verse 11 NASB).   Then after the nation of Judah prayed and fasted, seeking the direction of God, the LORD spoke through the prophet Jahaziel and said:

"This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don't be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God's" (verse 15 NLT).

 When I am facing a dilemma or tough decision, and someone gives me the cliché Christianese response like, "don't worry—God's got this," it's not very reassuring to say the least.   Then after the promise from the prophet that God has got this, King Jehoshaphat responded by appointing:

 "Singers to walk ahead of the army, singing to the Lord and praising him for his holy splendor. This is what they sang:

‘Give thanks to the Lord; his faithful love endures forever!'

At the very moment, they began to sing and give praise, the Lord caused the armies of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir to start fighting among themselves…when the army of Judah arrived at the lookout point in the wilderness, all they saw were dead bodies lying on the ground as far as they could see" (verse 22+24 NLT).

As I was reading this story, I learned several lessons from Jehoshaphat in leading through uncertainty:

1.) A leader needs to admit that he or she is powerless and doesn't know what to do.  Admitting that we don't know might not be the popular or comfortable way our peers want to view us.  Making the right decision in uncertainty requires honesty and self-assessment, taking into account an accurate measure of our influence and resources in having a positive outcome in solving the problem.  

Jehoshaphat was honest in his self-assessment knowing full well that if God were not with him he would fail.   Paul also warns us in Romans 12 not to view ourselves more important than we are, and I am sure you will find several other instances where the Bible warns of pride leading to defeat.   Sometimes the best answer is, "I don't know!"

2.) A leader needs to fast and seek God with his or her people, collectively setting their eyes on God.   Every time there ever was a great move of God's Spirit leading to great revivals; there was always one thing in common that preceded it all, prayer!    Prayer changes everything!   A holy desperation that drives a leader to cry out for God to help is not unattractive nor should it shake their followers confidence in their leaders.   In fact, acknowledgment of weakness before a powerful God should give you greater confidence in your leadership!   Unless they are continually seeking God in decisions, "the work of the builders is wasted" (Psalm 127:1 NLT).

3.) A leader needs to wait for God's direction.   I will not go to deep into this but God speaks first to us through His WORD, the Holy Bible, and then he speaks to us through others.    Many times God has spoken to me through seeking wise counsel.   Jesus said, "what king would go to war against another king without first sitting down with his counselors to discuss whether his army of 10,000 could defeat the 20,000 soldiers marching against him" (Luke 14:31 NLT)?

The step of seeking wise counsel does not trump or nullify the truths of the Scriptures.   Another way we hear God is directly from the source whether by a dream, a gut feeling, or audible voice.   Again God will not speak to us something contradictory to His WORD.   Wait for it, it may not be immediate, but God will be faithful to answer you.   Be specific in your prayers and include the: who, what, where, when, how's.   Why, because God will be specific with his answers!

4.) Once the leader hears God, now it's time to take a leap of faith.   How do we do that?   Whichever direction you go, lead off with worshiping God, thanking him in advance for the victory.   Jehoshaphat quickly appointed men to sing and sent them out in front of his army.   There is power in worshiping God in the middle of the valley of the shadow of death.   Joshua did it, Paul and Silas did it, Jehoshaphat did it and so should you.   Satan hates valley worship!

5.) Watch God win the battle.   Watching God win is the fun part!    Watch your ministry thrive, watch your business grow, watch your plans succeed.   Especially for those of you who have been given the high and noble calling of leading a church, watch God build it!   Jesus made this promise to Peter and all of us; "I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it" (Matthew 16:18 NLT).

As you lead and make tough choices, just remember you will sometimes make the wrong decision.   Pastor Craig Groeschel from Life Church Oklahoma stated in one of his sermons that, "sometimes failing is the first step to succeeding."   He encourages us that if we're not occasionally failing we're playing it too safe, and that "we cannot play it safe and please God" (Hebrews 11:6)!   

You may be wondering how our outreach event with the Easter bunny turned out.   I had taken all the steps that I listed above, but now it was time for God to move.   I walked up in front of the stadium, and there was a line wrapped around the entire front side of the venue.   Over four thousand people showed up that day.   After just ten minutes of sharing the story of how Jesus changed my life, over one hundred and fifty people rededicated or gave their hearts to God for the first time.

In leadership, we must remember that the only thing certain is that there will be uncertainty.   In our journey, we will have success, and failure, but we should keep in mind that God doesn’t waste failure so neither should we.   Admit that you don't always know, seek God, wait for an answer, take a leap of faith, and watch God win!

Vengeance is Mine:

Several months ago I posted a comment on social media concerning the Charlie Hebdo terror attacks in France.   I wrote, “I’m so glad to serve a God who doesn't need me to avenge Him when insulted by mere humans (#MyGodIsLove).”   I posted this as I contemplated the actions of several known terrorists who were massacring innocent French citizens as they were heard shouting out, “the Prophet has been avenged!”

I began to think about the many instances where religious zealots feel compelled to violently, whether by guns, stones, or words, attack those who live or say anything contrary to their beliefs/religion.   When fanatics defend their god, or avenge people who insult their religion by not abiding by their religious codes, it is obvious that they believe it is their duty to avenge or defend god.   Then the thought hit me, “why would an all knowing, all powerful God, need anyone to defend Him by being his hand of vengeance or judgment?”   This may be the unmistakable difference between the god that terrorists serve and the God that has changed my life from being full of hate to being filled with His love.

As a Christian, there are three things that give me a sense of relief when it comes to defending the Christian faith:

1.)     The physical Bible is not what is “Holy”, but the words contained within that are “Holy”.   So you can attempt to desecrate the Holy Bible by burning it, walking on it, or throwing it in the toilet for all I care.   I am not offended because I have “hidden God’s word in my heart,” and I know that God’s word is alive in all who believe in Him (Psalm 119:11).   I once heard a story of man far from God, who asked a missionary if he could have his Bible and use the pages for cigarette rolling papers.   The missionary didn’t blink an eye and passed him the Bible and said, “You can have this under one condition, read every page you smoke.”   In the end the man inhaled something much more powerful than mere paper, he ended up becoming a Christ follower.

2.)     Cartoon depictions of Jesus don’t offend me, nor should they offend Christ Followers.   Death on a cross couldn’t touch Jesus, so I’m sure a cartoon depiction of Him won’t either.   I may not be gaining any fans from the Christian community by saying this, but I actually on occasion enjoy a little South Park, Jesus vs. Satan action and it cracks me up.   Yes it can be a little sacrilegious but again, Jesus doesn’t care, and obviously Christians don’t either because you don’t see them threatening someone’s life or killing someone over a cartoon show.   Even when people directly insult our faith, we ought to do what Jesus did as people spat on and insulted Him stating, “Father forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).   When Christians face blatant persecution we ought to “Love [our] enemies and pray for those who persecute [us]” (Matthew 5:44).

3.)     It’s not a Christian’s job to judge the world for how they live and what they do.   Many professing Christians have vacillated from loving to judging society.   It’s like we’re saying, “I love you…but I believe you should live by my convictions, when you don’t even know my God.”   We are not called to hold the world accountable for their sin…that’s God’s job.   Paul reminds Christians in Romans 2:1-4;

“You may think you can condemn such people [people outside the Christian community], but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things.  And we know that God, in his justice, will punish anyone who does such things.  Since you judge others for doing these things, why do you think you can avoid God’s judgment when you do the same things?  Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?”

Christians are not in charge of holding people outside our faith to our own religious standards however, what we are called to do is love!   We’re called to love people inside and outside the Christian community.   If we love them, then they will be more likely to turn God, and then HE can change them.

Now to be clear, the only place in the Bible that says we ought to defend anything other than those who are too weak or poor to defend themselves is when Peter encourages us to, “Always be ready to defend your confidence in God when anyone asks you to explain it. However, make your defense with gentleness and respect.”   Notice it does not say, “Defend God,” but it says to “defend your confidence in God.”   This can be easily done by sharing your story on how God has changed your life, “your testimony.”   The story of how God changed me is one of the most powerful things I can share with people who don’t understand my faith.

In conclusion, it’s not at a Christian’s job, or anyone else for that matter, to defend God.   Paul again states, “don’t take revenge, dear friends. Instead, let God’s anger take care of it. After all, Scripture says, ‘I alone have the right to take revenge. I will pay back, says the Lord.’”   Sometimes I observe fellow believers who are passionate in their faith get caught up in defending God especially in the political arena or on social networks.   They get caught up just like Job’s friend Elihu who instead of consoling Job for his loss of family and home, chastised Job for his lamenting and concluded, “Let me go on…for I have not finished defending God” (Job 36:2)!   In the end God chastises Elihu and his friends by stating; “I am angry with you and your two friends, for you have not spoken accurately about me” (Job 42:7).

I wonder how many terrorists or religious zealots may hear these words one day standing before the throne of God’s judgment!   Elihu’s defending of God prevented him from sharing the love of God through consolation.   Defending God takes a Christian away from their best offensive strategy of sharing the love of God in action, to a world outside its faith!   I hope one day all humanity can see that God is love…and love always wins!   Let’s choose love!

7 Lessons Learned In A Year of Being Mr. Mom:

In the 10 years of marriage to my wife Amber, I often find myself thinking; “Man, my wife needs to be better at this whole homemaking thing.”   Sometimes I would come home and it would look like a tornado had torn through my house.   I kept telling myself; “I could probably do it better.”   However, I was soon to discover how wrong I truly was.

Over a year ago, I had to step away from leading a church that my wife Amber and I planted.   She stepped in as interim lead, while I stayed at home with our two baby daughters.   Things got real…real quick!   My eyes were opened to a whole new world.   The first days and weeks went by excruciatingly slow, but did get easier as time went on.   After a year of being Mr. Mom, I learned 7 profound lessons for all dads to consider:

1)   Our Work Can Become An Excuse to Check-Out:
I decided early on in life that I wanted to be a father who was home every night to eat dinner with my children and tuck them in at night.   However, I had not set any guidelines, and as the years went by, my work took more and more time away from my family.

I would often put in 12 to 14 hour days and have little to nothing left over for my wife or baby girls.   I would justify my actions with the common mantra many fathers throw out there: “Someone has to be the bread winner!”   My excuse to provide for my family was preventing me from experiencing one of the most important things in life; the joy that comes with seeing children grow.

2)   Some Dads Have No Idea What They Are Missing:
If God had not intervened in my life, and given me the opportunity to stay at home with my girls, I would have never realized how much I was missing.   Those two little girls give me so much joy and priceless moments that are indescribable.

Some of you moms may be thinking as you read, “Yea, having children is amazing, but WOW, it is tough work.”   Many dads may not yet realize, this simple truth, so you might need to experience it yourself.

3)   Walking In Mom’s Shoes is Tough:
Some dad’s have no clue how grueling, and draining it can be to be the primary caretaker of your children day in and day out.   It’s kind of like that Vicks DayQuil commercial, “Moms Don’t Take Sick Days,” because there are no time outs in being mommy.   Most dads won’t get it until they walk a mile in their wife’s shoes.

4)   Fathers Need To Unlearn Bad Habits:
Dads come from many different backgrounds, some more dysfunctional than others.   Along the way we may have probably learned or picked up one or more bad parenting habits.   Here are just a few that we all struggle with: not telling our children we love them enough, not enough hugs and kisses, not continually telling them how proud we are of them, not showing up for recitals or games, missing birthday parties and holidays, using divorce as an excuse to not be there, and so on…and so on…and so on.   I could do this all day!   Is that how we want to be remembered by our children?   What could be worse?

5)   We Dads Can Be Home but Not Really Home:
In a technological saturated culture, there is the temptation for dads to checkout on social media, Netflix, or watching a good basketball/football game when we get home.   What’s worse is if you take work home with you and tune your family out.   It’s probably torture for a young boy or girl, starving for attention from their father, to be so close to him yet so far.   Maybe it’s time for a change.

6)   There is No Shame in Being Mr. Mom:
If you’re considering being Mr. Mom, you need to know that there need be no shame as more and more dads are jumping in.   Recently, The Washington Post put out an article called, Don’t Call Them Mr. Mom, which highlights the fact that “the number of stay-at-home Dads has doubled in the last 25 years, reaching a peak of 2.2 million in 2010, according to a new report by the Pew Research Center.”

It also states that the majority of dads would prefer to work or stay at home if finances permitted.   I am the luckiest dad alive because I had a whole year with my baby girls and I would have not traded it for anything.   Now unfortunately, it’s time to go back to work.   This leads us to my 7th and final learning.

7)   What’s Going to Change Going Back to Work Full-Time:
So for you dads who can’t become Mr. Mom for a year or two, here are a few applications to get the most of your time with your children.   It’s as simple as ABC:

A. Give them three, 10-minute connections a day: before work, dinner, and bedtime.   Use these times to engage and turn off the phone or TV.   Of these three, bedtime is the most important.   These are crucial moments that say, “you matter to me!”

B. Get home early.   It’s my goal to be home by 4PM to get some extra time with the girls.   For you this may seem impossible, but try it even if it hurts the wallet.   Try to pull it off even if it’s only a couple of times a week.

C. Take one week off work to be Mr. Mom.   It will give your wife a much-needed break, and it will help you appreciate everything that goes into being the primary caretaker of your children.

There are those fathers out there who face tremendous difficulty in their ability to spend time with children.   But the point here is to encourage us dads to be better.   That is my goal every day, and I hope that we all push ourselves to be the best dads we can be.